things....

"sarah?....this is your last night in alaska....just be here okay?"-Marisa
i don't know why i'm here. i just am. i don't understand why i love marisa. i just do..... more than anything.....she's like my sister except for the fact i love her more than my sister.that sounds bad but it's true. marisa likes me FOR my quirks and weirdnesses she doesn't tolerate them, she loves them. like the fact that i'm gay. she loves me because i'm a big lesbian. she just makes me feel like I'M worth something. i never have to pretend around her. i don't have to dress a certain way or act a certain way. i'm just sarah when i'm with her. it's nice.

Alright onto other things i miss camp a lot. i really hate a certain person and i don't think i can do this.....by this i mean go to a school where i don't belong, put on that stupid mask everyone wants me to wear, and pretend everything is perfectly fine all at the same time.....i really can't i hate pretending to be something i'm not. wearing clothes i don't want to wear, saying things i'd never say, NOT SAYING THINGS I ALWAYS SAY, saying he when i really mean she saying boyfriend when i really mean girlfriend. saying i'm fine when really i just want to tear your eyes out for doing this to me.....something is going to happen this year either i'm going to stop talking entirely or break through and get expelled for saying the things i needed to say (i am a person. i'm not confused or going through a phase. i know what i like and don't like. telling me i'm not gay is like saying you don't like bananas even though they're you're favorite fruit. i'm not wrong or disgusting. i am me.) yeah at my school you get expelled for saying that.